Self-Care Tips for Caregivers

Caregiving is a time-consuming responsibility that’s physically and emotionally draining. Sleep is a luxury enjoyed sparingly. Life is consumed by the care-recipient and self-care is seemingly non-existent. Observers emphasize the importance of self-care, but never volunteer time for its completion. Many caregivers are restricted to the confines of home and don’t have infinite self-care options. Few are allowed the time for walking or jogging nature trails. There are no gym visits or facials and massages. Every minute of the day revolves around the care-recipient’s needs.

How can time for self-care be integrated into your hectic schedule? Take advantage of available time during the day. Correctly utilizing brief moments allows for proper self-care management. Relieve stress and boost your confidence by practicing these beneficial self-care tips.

  1. Compliment yourself each morning. Compose a list of your best qualities. Read this list when in doubt of your self-worth.
  2. Perform an emotions self-check. Sit calmly for a designated amount of time and ponder exactly what you’re feeling. Document those feelings.
  3. Limit the negativity transpiring in your life. Eliminate people and social media serving no positive purpose in your current lifestyle.
  4. Look through a window and appreciate the surrounding natural environment.
  5. Let loose! Turn on your favorite tunes and get lost in the music. Learn to laugh and enjoy being you.
  6. Complete controlled breathing or moderate stretching exercises.
  7. Create an in-home exercise routine suitable for your time schedule and fitness level.
  8. Re-evaluate your diet and include healthier versions of the foods you love.
  9. Realize and document your thoughts and concerns. Suggest an open discussion with family and friends to voice your objections.
  10. Splurge and treat yourself to a favorite food, new wardrobe piece, or 10 minutes of alone time.
  11. Change your monotonous daily schedule by integrating one new activity.
  12. Find a secluded location within your home and sit in silence for a short moment. Block out surrounding sounds and concentrate on breathing.
  13. Walk outside or sit near a window and absorb a little sunshine.
  14. Indulge in a 10 minute power nap and return to caregiving refreshed.
  15. Circulate aromas throughout your home stimulating mood and senses.
  16. When given the opportunity, ask for and accept help.

Self-care is a lifestyle change involving consistent care of the mind, body, and soul. Bodily systems work in unison to create a physical, mental, and emotional balance. Integrating the mentioned tips into your daily schedule will alleviate everyday stress and improve self-confidence. Open your mind and allow yourself deserved care.

What self-care activities do you practice daily?

Respond by leaving a comment! Thank you for reading and take care! Please share!


How to Help a Caregiver

We caregivers are experts at keeping a “happy” face, even when times lack happiness and joy.  Our constant smiles and understanding give the impression everything’s always OK.  True feelings are pushed aside for the benefit of the patient.  We never ask for help because caregiving duties are solely our responsibility.  However, there are times when we need help, but don’t voice our feelings.

When asked if he/she needs help, a caregiver will often respond, “No thank you.  I have everything under control.  I appreciate the offer.”  How can you help a caregiver that refuses assistance?  Try indirect help.  Provide items or services that make their caregiving duties easier.

  1. Provide encouragement in the form of a card or casual conversation.  Show appreciation for their devotion.
  2. Caregiving is costly especially when living on a limited income.  Provide a gift card that can be used for everyday expenses.
  3. Most caregivers have very limited time for errands.  Volunteer to grocery shop or pick up medications.
  4. Balancing family and caregiving is difficult.  Offer free childcare services to the caregiver.

Directly assisting a caregiver in their own environment can be difficult.  Most have a set daily schedule.  Any deviation from this schedule can cause unwanted stress.  How can you directly help a caregiver without interfering with their daily schedule?  

  1. Prepare meals for both the patient and caregiver.  Deliver meals a few times per week.  When preparing meals abide by proper diet restrictions.
  2. Depending on the patient’s medical condition, homecare can involve massive amounts of laundry daily.  Volunteer to pick up and drop off laundry during the week.
  3. Offer transportation for medical appointments.  “Free” hours allow the caregiver to take a break and catch up with daily tasks.
  4. Provide RESPITE CARE.  Allowing the caregiver a short-term break from their daily monotonous schedule is beneficial.  The caregiver is able to enjoy activities outside of their duties, enabling them to de-stress and recharge.  A healthy caregiver can consistently provide quality care to the patient.

Caregivers can be stubborn.  This stubbornness will eventually lead to stress and burnout.  As a third-party, you can indirectly and directly assist the caregiving process by providing your time and services.  Don’t take “NO” for an answer.  Work behind-the-scenes and provide deserved support.  Thank you and good luck!

Respite care? Yes, please!

Whether you chose to be a caregiver or caregiving chose you, you’re now responsible for the well-being of another individual.  Physical, mental, medical, and financial responsibilities are included in daily caregiving.  One must assess both physical and mental states and address their effect on the patient’s health.  Medications must be altered and administered per the request of the attending physician.  Monthly bills and long-term finances must be managed in order to compile sufficient funds for care.  These are just SOME of the daily responsibilities encountered by caregivers.  The unpredictability of caring for an ailing loved-one causes a stress-filled environment.  Combining ongoing responsibilities with unpredictable daily outcomes leads to caregiver stress and eventual burnoutHow can you avoid this stress?  Two words….RESPITE CARE.

Respite care is a short-term break for caregivers.  It allows time to de-stress and recharge.  You’re able to go shopping, take a nap, grab lunch, go on a mini vacation, or catch a movie at the local theatre.  It’s easy to forget yourself when caring for a loved-one.  Caregivers can’t become overwhelmed by their full-time duties.  Respite care helps release any physical or mental tension that has accumulated while caregiving.  These small breaks enable you to return refreshed and more focused.

It’s important to have a stable support system while caregiving.  Ideally, respite care would be provided daily.  However, finding willing relatives with similar schedules can be difficult.  Finding a trustworthy homecare agency is equally difficult.  Trying to coordinate family schedules and locating GOOD care is stressful.  Caregivers become deterred and opt for no support system.  I was this caregiver.  Taking full responsibility for an ailing loved-one and refusing breaks is a recipe for disaster.  You’ll become overwhelmed and eventually suffer from burnout.  Learn from my mistakes.

Choosing to become a caregiver is a noble decision.  But sometimes we don’t have a choice and caregiving chooses us.  Whatever the circumstances, try to instate a reliable support system.  Voice your opinions to your family and describe the importance of respite care.  If you don’t mention it, who will?  As a caregiver, we take complete responsibility for our patient and forget OUR daily needs.  If trustworthy friends and relatives offer you a break, TAKE IT!  De-stress and recharge so you can successfully care for your loved-one.

Let me know how your caregiving journey is progressing by leaving a comment.  As always, thank you for reading and take care!

A Day in My Life as a Caregiver

10:00 PM….I transfer my grandmother from wheelchair to bed via hoyer lift and begin our nightly routine.  Undress, bathe, dress, dental care, administer medication, get comfy, and hope for the best.  “Good night, grandmom.  Try to get some sleep….morning comes early.”  I turn off the lights, kiss her on the cheek, and grab any available blanket.  I fall into my bed….the sofa next to my grandmother’s home hospital bed.  Thoughts of tomorrow wander through my mind before finally closing my eyes.

12:00 AM….I hear the sheets rustling on my grandmother’s air mattress.  She can’t sleep….the cramps in her legs are excruciating.  “No problem grandmom.  I will put you in your recliner.”  I walk across the living room and retrieve her hoyer lift.  The hoyer lift mat is strategically placed…I begin to lift her from bed.  And, incontinence strikes!  It isn’t her fault that bending motions cause her to urinate.  “No problem grandmom.  I will get you washed-up and changed into clean clothes.”

12:45 AM….Bathed, dressed, and two transfers later, she is in her beloved recliner.  The leg cramps are still painful….the reclined position was no help.  “No problem grandmom.  Let me massage your legs and see if that relieves the pain.”  She nods.

2:00 AM….The pain seems to be subsiding a little.  Grandmom wants to go to bed.  “Sounds good Grandmom.  Let me get your hoyer lift.”  Recliner to wheelchair, wheelchair to bed, the hoyer lift mat is removed….another successful transfer.  And, incontinence strikes! “Ok grandmom.  Let’s get you bathed, changed, and comfy.”

2:30 AM….“Goodnight grandmom.  See you in the morning.”  But it is already morning!  I fall into bed hoping this time it will last.

6:30 AM….My alarm clocks sounds.  I quietly leave the comfortable sofa and tip-toe upstairs.  A quick change into workout clothes and my morning workout routine begins. These 30 minutes of freedom are frequently interrupted by my wandering mind….I better check on grandmom and make sure she’s alright.  Running up and down stairs is excellent cardio!

7:00 AM….Going downstairs, I’m met with grandmom’s bright eyes….MY 30 MINUTES of the day are over.  “Good morning grandmom.  Ready to get dressed?”  And so begins our early morning routine.  Undress, bathe, dress, dental care, administer medications, transfer into wheelchair.  The day has begun.

12:30 PM….By now, my grandmother has been transferred 3 times.  Incontinence never fails to burden each transfer.  Why so many transfers?  She must be repositioned every 1-2 hours in order to prevent skin breakdown.  It’s her favorite time of day….the daytime soap operas are on CBS!  We sit together and watch the drama surrounding TV families and try to forget the drama here at home.

5:00 PM….Three transfers later and it’s dinner time.  I eat standing up in the kitchen because I choose not to eat in front of my grandmother….she is fed through a feeding tube.  Guilt surrounds me during each meal.  The woman who taught me how to cook is unable to eat.  Why is life so unfair?

6:30 PM….Grandmom and I retreat to our favorite room….the four season room at the front of the house.  We watch nature from the surrounding windows and talk of days gone by.  She laughs at my stories of younger siblings.  I laugh at her facial expressions to the town gossip.  I would give anything to have these moments back.

8:30 PM….Grandmom chooses her favorite record from the collection.  We dance/roll around the 1st floor of our home without a care in the world.  Right now nobody is sick or ailing….all is right in the world.

9:30 PM….“Welp, it’s that time again.  Time to get ready for bed.”  She smiles and yawns.  We begin our nightly routine.  “Goodnight, grandmom.  Sleep tight.”  I kiss her on the cheek and fall onto my welcoming sofa.  I stare at the ceiling and pray she wakes up in the morning.  

Caregiving never stops.  It’s a physically demanding job with little rest.  Your eyes may be closed but your mind is constantly working.  Care for yourself so you can care for others.  Thank you and GOOD LUCK!  

Caregiver stress….YES it’s real!

You have a B.S. in Chemistry….what do you know about caregiver stress?  A lot more than you think.  If you’ve had the time to read my others posts, you realize I’m a CHEM enthusiast.  Five grueling years of mathematics and chemistry courses to garner my degree and academic distinction amongst peers.

It was at the beginning of these five years that my caregiving journey began. My grandmother had a stroke when I first entered college….I was 18 years old.  The stroke left her with right-side paralysis and speaking difficulties.  My family and I were faced with a decision….who will care for her?  My older brother was working full-time and my younger brother was still in high school.  Then there was me….the college bound Jersey girl with big Chemistry dreams.  Who says the middle child isn’t the best child?  Faced with the dilemma of nursing home or homecare, I spent many days in a daze thinking about the future.  What’s more important, the happiness of my grandmother or my career path? Hands down….the happiness of my grandmother.  So, in 2004 my grandmother and I embarked on a memorable 11 year journey.

As I said earlier, I was 18 years old when my caregiving journey began and my grandmother was 73.  How was I going to convince this, up until now, extremely independent woman that I was capable of caring for her during her time of need?  My grandmother’s thoughts were written all over her face….I’m going to be dependent on this teenage girl, who barely knows how to drive or cook?  Yes.

There we were, two women separated by decades, expected to get along and balance life.  Easier said than done.  Although I chose to care for my grandmother, I didn’t want to delay my education.  So, I decided to balance caregiving and college.  It was difficult, but doable!  Besides, the life skills I was learning through my Chemistry course work were coming in pretty handy at home.  My grandmother’s recovery was slow, but steady.  She never recovered from the paralysis, but was successful in overcoming her eating and speech difficulties.

Fast forward 5 years….2009.  I just graduated college with my degree in Chemistry and WHAM, grandmom had another stroke!  Not again.  This stroke left her completely dependent on me.  Because of the seriousness of her condition, I wouldn’t be able to work and I WASN’T putting her into a healthcare facility.  I became my grandmother’s 24-hour caregiver.  From feeding tubes to tracheostomies….we covered it all!  I should have majored in healthcare!

From 2009 until her death in 2015, I cared full-time for my grandmother.  It was during these 5-6 years I suffered from caregiver stress.  When you say you’re a caregiver, people jump to the conclusion that you don’t work, stay at home, eat bon-bon’s, and watch television all day.  These people couldn’t be more wrong!  Caregiving is a full-time job with a lot of overtime.  You sleep when the patient sleeps.  Caregivers are at the mercy of the patient’s schedule.  Adapting to this schedule is difficult and can’t be achieved overnight.  Realistically, you may never adapt to the schedule….you just go with the flow.  That flow involves many sleepless nights and hours of direct contact healthcare.  No sleep and hours of helping the patient causes mental and physical exhaustion.  There’s no break from these relentless hours and no one to relieve you from your duties.  It’s just you and your patient….just me and grandmom!

Days turned into nights and nights into days, but one thing stayed constant, my devotion to my grandmother.  Just when I thought I could no longer deal with the stress of caregiving, there she was smiling and nodding, letting me know how grateful she was for my presence.

Don’t let caregiver stress deter you from caring for your loved-one.  Caregiving is HARD, but with proper knowledge and resources you can avoid stress and burnout.  Thank you for reading and take care!