We caregivers are experts at keeping a “happy” face, even when times lack happiness and joy.  Our constant smiles and understanding give the impression everything’s always OK.  True feelings are pushed aside for the benefit of the patient.  We never ask for help because caregiving duties are solely our responsibility.  However, there are times when we need help, but don’t voice our feelings.

When asked if he/she needs help, a caregiver will often respond, “No thank you.  I have everything under control.  I appreciate the offer.”  How can you help a caregiver that refuses assistance?  Try indirect help.  Provide items or services that make their caregiving duties easier.

1. Provide encouragement in the form of a card or casual conversation.  Show appreciation for their devotion.
2. Caregiving is costly especially when living on a limited income.  Provide a gift card that can be used for everyday expenses.
3. Most caregivers have very limited time for errands.  Volunteer to grocery shop or pick up medications.
4. Balancing family and caregiving is difficult.  Offer free childcare services to the caregiver.

Directly assisting a caregiver in their own environment can be difficult.  Most have a set daily schedule.  Any deviation from this schedule can cause unwanted stress.  How can you directly help a caregiver without interfering with their daily schedule?  

1. Prepare meals for both the patient and caregiver.  Deliver meals a few times per week.  When preparing meals abide by proper diet restrictions.
2. Depending on the patient’s medical condition, homecare can involve massive amounts of laundry daily.  Volunteer to pick up and drop off laundry during the week.
3. Offer transportation for medical appointments.  “Free” hours allow the caregiver to take a break and catch up with daily tasks.
4. Provide RESPITE CARE.  Allowing the caregiver a short-term break from their daily monotonous schedule is beneficial.  The caregiver is able to enjoy activities outside of their duties, enabling them to de-stress and recharge.  A healthy caregiver can consistently provide quality care to the patient.

Caregivers can be stubborn.  This stubbornness will eventually lead to stress and burnout.  As a third-party, you can indirectly and directly assist the caregiving process by providing your time and services.  Don’t take “NO” for an answer.  Work behind-the-scenes and provide deserved support.  Thank you and good luck!